“Oh you are dead, totally DEAD! I am, I swear, actually going to kill you! I’m going to snap off your stupid metal pedals and I am going to use them to dig out your horrible little stupid annoying electric heart and then I am going to throw you into the canal! Arrrggghhhhh…” I pause for breath, clutching my chest as I writhe about panting on the pavement, engulfed in pure fury.
If this was Top Gear, I’d be expecting a steak about now… I pull myself to my feet, straighten my shirt and have a look at my bleeding shins, my gashed knuckles. Then I gaze with unquenched hatred at the small beeping machine lying on its side… its wheel still turning.